I hate my new my life. It sucks.  But the question is do I give in or do I buck up and fight?

I want to get out of this rut. I can’t change the place or the kind of work (slavery) I am doing now. But I can use the time to the best of my abilities. I am good and I know what I want. But right now, its just a big mess.

So I have decided – ” Bets babe, get up and get going”

Thanks to X mind- I have written down the plan of action for the next one week. I am taking it a bit slow. The idiosyncratic  superwoman in me, is suffering from inertia. So any attempt to come back at that pace will result in a steep fall.  So for now “ONE DAY AT A TIME”.

“Sometimes I accept Jesus’ audacious claim without question. Sometimes I confess, I wonder what difference it should make to my life that a man lived two thousand years ago in a place called Galilee. Can I resolve this inner tension between doubter and lover?

I tend to write as a means of confronting my own doubts. My book titles- Where Is God When It Hurts, Disappointment With God- betray me. I return again and again to the same questions, as if fingering an old wound that never quite heals. Does God care about the misery down here? Do we really matter to God?”

PHILIP YANCEY – The Jesus I Never Knew

WRITERS BLOCK

I hate it when I procrastinate.

Its been two weeks and I haven’t finished the first article on “health care in India “.

I haven’t finished the first draft and I am way behind.

I haven’t started the third FSHM  module,

I haven’t finished  revising the book “Ready Reckoner”.

I haven’t finished reading the books on the “to read for this month”

Well I haven’t done anything useful this week.

Feel so rotten. For some strange reason, I was disturbed the whole day. I didn’t want to work, cook or eat or even sleep. But does that mean, I will lie in bed and laze the whole day??

The superintendent’s wife is better. The “MD DOC” did the magic. Well, I am happy, that she is fine. But I feel so defeated. My clinical judgement was right. I did the right thing. But the bug was resilient…..

The more the number of letters after your name, the more the number of patients.

Despite all this, I am on cloud nine. My bro is back. I missed him sorely. Some relationships can never be defined or rationalized. I wouldn’t have survived this place if it wasn’t for him. I am just thankful to God.

Bad Week :-((

Bad start!! Still continuing

All my in patients are getting sicker. I have no clue as to what is going on. Thought of all the possibilities and DDs. But I am clue less….. I am more worried for  the superintendents wife. She is been having fever for the past 5 days. Not responding to anti pyretics or antibiotics. Her liver enzymes done today are through the roof.. I am so paranoid. If only bro was around.

I am on my knees. I am helpless.

And some of my patients are acting like idiots and I am losing my cool. Why do they do this?? Why do they torment me like this? Ugh…

OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED

“I wonder, among all the tangles of this mortal coil, which one contains tighter knots to undo, and consequently suggests more, tugging, and  pain, and diversified elements of misery, than the marriage tie.” Edith Wharton

Have you ever wondered, what is unique in a marriage. Why marry at all?

What is it all about?

• New relationship/ interpersonal relationship,
• social union of two families,
• for procreation,
• legal contract,
• or is it a moral-social-physical obligation that each individual has to fulfill in this journey called life.

……………………….
Marriage is a relationship between two unique individuals. It encompasses the emotional, physical, intellectual, moral aspects of a person.

Marriage is an unimaginable heartache and a painful joy. Its full of ups and downs. But even as you tread this path, there is a sense of security, and you rather be with that special person.

Marriage is about sharing  yourself – physical and psychological.

To grow and to teach.

To grow and to rebuild.

Its all about being in love despite.

Someone once said,” a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”.

To attain this pinnacle of happiness in a relationship  is challenging.

Have you  ever wondered what its like to share  yourself? The very thought of  it, sends chills down the spine. Yet, you so easily cave in, to fulfill obligations.

It doesn’t matter, whether two beings meet by chance or is brought together by some human directives.

Its your choice that  matters.

“My dear child, what you must try to see is that nothing has changed. When the Maker brings you your husband (the one you love), you will be aware that it was He who made you for each other and He who planned your meeting. And at that moment, just as we did, you’ll want to sing a song of praise to Him” (Adam to his grand daughter, By Joshua Harris in BOY MEETS GIRL)

To meet someone of  your own wavelength, is not easy. But neither is it Utopian. Instead of chasing the dream, you subject yourself to the whims and fancies of the society you live in.

Strange, but for centuries, marriage was all about procreation and social obligation. Its beyond the human mind to fathom such a life. Even if it requires you to hurt a few souls, the wait for the finest is gratifying.

…………………..

Oh wait!!!! Why am I blabbering so much?? And what is the title all about??? Heeeee

Well, I have been officially launched in to the matrimonial market as I would call it!! And so these are the thoughts that went through my mind. Now that I have discovered this “dreadful” truth, what do I do????

I have rebelled enough and so I am out of excuses.

So do I give in or do I wait?? ..:-(

My Predicament pt 2

Now that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not “So there’s no God after all,” but, “So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.”

This quote is from A Grief Observed by C S Lewis, one of my all time favorites. In the past 4 months, I have read this book at least 3 times.

My faith in a sovereign God is the cornerstone of my life. I have build my spiritual foundation on this rock. Even when the path of life was dreary and trying, I kept my faith.

But at this  juncture of my  life, I am like the flower that is waiting for her turn to wither.

The love of my life: Pt 1

Last night, I was making a list of some of the books that I wanted to buy/ read.

I was excited as the list grew longer.

But,with a heavy heart, I realized that, I can not possibly acquire or even think of buying these books now.

Bibliophilia is an expensive affair and sigh!!! If only I was earning enough…

Given, my present financial status, I can’t afford to spend lavishly on books or on any of my “cravings”.

Books are the only friends that I have in this embryonic hamlet.

So do I follow my heart or my head??

I’d rather wait than be a foolish spendthrift…….

RE- welcome to the world of my favorites

Hello everybody,

Small change in my post.. thanks to tumblr

So once  again, warm welcome to the world of my favorites-http://dinvincible.tumblr.com/

This Blog is an online collection of my favorites!! Quotes, excerpts from books/articles, one liners (original), photographs, people, things etc….

Nuttyann

enjoy! )))

Welcome to the world of my favorites

Hello everybody,

Warm welcome to the world of my favorites- http://madamebete.blogspot.com/.

This Blog is an online collection of my favorites!! Quotes, excerpts from books/articles, one liners (original), photographs, people, things etc….

Nuttyann